Village News: Purity & Peer Counseling

Dear Villagers,

Great to see so many of you out at Jason Evert's talk last night! It was neat to hear Jason cover so many different topics from a Catholic perspective- the real side effects of birth control, the proper role of sex in marriage, and real love versus lust. I highly recommend that you check out his website www.chastity.com, for more Q&A on Dating, How Far is Too Far, Pornography, Homosexuality, Birth Control, STD's, Starting Over, How to Stay Pure, and Vocations. Purity can be hard, so we must pray even harder asking God to help us- to make us the men and women that we are called to be!

At this Sunday's Village, we'll be discussing some tough issues, alcohol abuse- drug abuse- and self-harm. Research has shown that teens are much more likely to go to someone their own age when facing a crisis, rather than an adult. Are you prepared to be the Good Samaritan to a friend dealing with these hard situations? Have you struggled with any of these yourself? You are not alone! Join us Sunday for prayer along with practical tips to understand and support those you care about.

--Join us this Thursday for the Dead Theologians Society, meditating on the life of St Elizabeth of Hungary.

--Register for The Village Fall Retreat (12/11-12/13) by the Early Bird Registration Deadline- December 2nd, and you could win 5 lbs of Trolli sour gummy worms!

--Your Question of the Week: "How far can you go in a dating relationship without going against the Catholic Faith?"

You are in my prayers!
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The Village News

Recap: Service Day
Thank you to those who came out this past Saturday to help collect the donations for the Pregnancy Help Center! Last month, a number of Villagers and Volunteers flyered 400+ homes, requesting donations that would be picked up this past Saturday, 11/14. We raised awareness for the Pregnancy Help Center, and were able to collect nearly 5 boxes worth of supplies! Thank you, Villagers, for being Christ’s hands and feet in the world.

This Thursday, 6:30-8:30pm: Saint Elizabeth of Hungary @ Dead Theologians Society
Saint Elizabeth was born a real Princess, and lived a life of piety and sacrifice- an awesome Catholic Disney film! Through the Saints of yesterday, the Dead Theologians Society, or DTS, inspires the youth of today to become the saints of tomorrow! Come on out and join us this Thursday.
-6:30pm: social time in the Parish Offices
-7-8pm: gather in the Church choir loft for prayer (the Elizabeth St door is always open)
-8-8:30pm: return to Parish Offices for hot cocoa & snacks

This Sunday's Village, 11/22: Peer Counseling Workshops
Most teens experiencing a crisis are more likely to go to a friend their own age for support, than an adult. Are you ready to be the Good Samaritan to a friend struggling with alcohol abuse, drug use, or self-harm? Have you struggled with any of these yourself? You are not alone! Join us this Sunday for an introduction to these tough topics from a Catholic perspective, and some tips to help you support a friend in the midst of some pretty nasty stuff.

Fall Retreat 12/11-12/13: Overview & Early Bird Deadline
Retreats are the high point of all youth ministry activity! Retreats are unique opportunities to take friendships to the next level through explosive games, incredible speakers, small group sharing opportunities, and copious amounts of food. Village Retreatants escape from the hectic schedule of everyday life to be welcomed into the rich prayer life of the Church with Morning Prayer and Night Prayer, in addition to Holy Mass. Together we will encounter Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and be blessed by God’s Real Presence in Eucharistic Adoration. Register by Wednesday, December 2nd and you will be automatically entered into our early bird prize giveaway, nearly 5 pounds of Trolli Sour Gummy Worms!

Your Question of the Week: "How far can you go in a dating relationship without going against the Catholic faith?"

Okay, first of all- there are Four Domains of Dating Relationships.
1. Spiritual: Pray together, Go to mass together, Talk about your prayer life together
2. Intellectual: Watch the news together, Read a book together! Talk!
3. Emotional: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) “Keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) Use all five Love Languages: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Verbal Affirmation, Gifts, Physical Affirmation
4. Physical: Commit yourself to living chastely! The great gift of sex is stripped of all meaning when it is given without life commitment of marriage

Okay, so within that framework, let’s talk about what physical affection means. Physical manifestations of affection are meant to be outward signs of inward realities. What are you expressing to your significant other through your affections? When our physical actions are an end in themselves, we are not treating the other as a person created for his or her own sake, but as a means to our own selfish physical satisfaction. Are we kissing the other person for our own physical gratification, or are we speaking to them of their goodness, and our affection for them? We are called to love the other person for their own sake- not to use them.

Sometimes we can give away too much of ourselves without realizing what it means. Sexual love represents the deepest intimacy you can have with another person! As Catholics, we are called to safeguard Chastity and the sanctity of marriage by avoiding all physical activities designed to sexually arouse the other person.

My last preface to the physical boundaries I’m going to give is this: We need to change our perspective from how much can I get away with, to how can I honor God and my future spouse with this dating relationship?

Here are some dating boundaries that have been passed on to me that I believe to be helpful in safeguarding against sin. First: avoid premarital sex, it is a mortal sin. Avoid passionate kissing. Always stay above the waist (oral sex is a mortal sin). Always keep all of your clothes on. Lying down together is a bad idea, it can lead to badness. Talk openly about the boundaries you find helpful- consider always keeping the door open, or only hanging out exclusively when someone else is nearby.

Again, let your physical actions be a reflection of your affection for the other, but keep the physical aspect of your relationship balanced with other domains. Know that in Christ there is always forgiveness, and there can always be a new beginning, a fresh start. If you fall, make sure you get to Confession to repent and receive Jesus’ forgiveness and mercy!